Pirate Borg - The Nameless Temple 03

[00:00:01] The Rancors Brothel presents, The Nameless Temple, A Pirate Borg Adventure.

[00:00:40] That's wonderful.

[00:00:43] You coward.

[00:00:46] I knew something was up.

[00:00:47] But if you don't go to touch the shiny then nothing exciting ever happens for the listeners.

[00:00:55] Please go touch the next trap.

[00:00:57] So here's the thing.

[00:00:59] You can continue to tell us the thing that we will forget immediately after you say it.

[00:01:04] Or you could draw it real fast.

[00:01:05] I don't have to draw it.

[00:01:07] Alright.

[00:01:08] Give me the frickin' thing.

[00:01:11] You gave me a thing without a marker.

[00:01:13] No I didn't.

[00:01:14] It's right there.

[00:01:15] It doesn't even need to be a whole room, just enough to get an idea of what we're

[00:01:19] doing.

[00:01:22] Cool.

[00:01:23] No.

[00:01:24] Door, door.

[00:01:25] We came in.

[00:01:26] Now you came in from the west so that'd be your left.

[00:01:31] We came in here.

[00:01:32] You said north is this way.

[00:01:34] We haven't come in here.

[00:01:35] Rock slide.

[00:01:36] We went through this door.

[00:01:37] We're currently in this room.

[00:01:39] Yes, correct.

[00:01:40] There's a door on this side which is not a door.

[00:01:44] No he didn't want the marker.

[00:01:48] You didn't want it.

[00:01:49] I took command.

[00:01:51] I am the captain now.

[00:01:54] Here this is the identical book.

[00:01:56] Open it up to whatever page is on and you start running the scenario.

[00:01:59] It might be easier.

[00:02:01] There.

[00:02:02] Idol.

[00:02:03] Yeah.

[00:02:04] Idol right in front of you.

[00:02:06] So what did I do wrong?

[00:02:08] You reach for the idol, there were multiple darts that you were able to get out of

[00:02:15] the way from.

[00:02:16] Yarr.

[00:02:17] And you can pick up said idol if you wish.

[00:02:20] Yeah.

[00:02:21] Done.

[00:02:22] Got idol.

[00:02:23] There's a door beyond that.

[00:02:24] What's the idol look like?

[00:02:25] Immerse me you shit.

[00:02:26] Is it a giant dildo?

[00:02:29] Oh.

[00:02:31] Leave it alone.

[00:02:32] Golden monkey.

[00:02:37] I look for some subtly racist guy to appear and pull me behind a door like he's done with

[00:02:42] many children before.

[00:02:43] I'm not going to open that page.

[00:02:45] Continue.

[00:02:46] Let it in the hidden temple.

[00:02:47] Maybe it's a monkey idol.

[00:02:48] Was it not a monkey idol?

[00:02:51] It was but it was multiple pieces and I think it was copper.

[00:02:54] Yeah but then they had these like vaguely bizarre Aztec guys pop out of doors and

[00:02:58] gank children.

[00:02:59] Yeah.

[00:03:00] Yeah.

[00:03:01] I miss that show.

[00:03:02] The 90s was a very strange time.

[00:03:05] Is it?

[00:03:06] For sure it's on Netflix.

[00:03:07] I don't have paramount.

[00:03:08] No, it's on paramount because Nickelodeon is paramount.

[00:03:12] You walk into what is room number seven.

[00:03:18] Round room.

[00:03:20] Painted floor.

[00:03:22] Geometric pattern.

[00:03:24] Resembles a solar system.

[00:03:27] Symbols carved into the rock.

[00:03:29] Hundreds of symbols carved into rock.

[00:03:35] There's also a makeshift kitchen and a bed of leaves.

[00:03:41] Somebody drunk when they described this page?

[00:03:43] I wrote this page?

[00:03:44] Lucas are you drunk?

[00:03:45] Is this a prison?

[00:03:46] But the weirdest thing you see is a gentleman curled up, knees to chest under chin rocking

[00:03:54] back and forth mumbling to himself.

[00:03:57] Did you say gentleman or German?

[00:03:59] Gentleman.

[00:04:00] It's the Germans.

[00:04:03] That's because he's got schnitzel on a little bit of his chin there.

[00:04:07] I want to make sure I'm not missing any four here.

[00:04:11] Is there a specific reason why he has to be German?

[00:04:14] No, he's not German.

[00:04:15] He's a gentleman rocking back and forth.

[00:04:20] Mumbling to himself.

[00:04:21] How is he adorned?

[00:04:24] In lederhosen.

[00:04:25] Uh.

[00:04:26] I don't know.

[00:04:28] Under clothes.

[00:04:30] No type of armor of any kind.

[00:04:33] Almost like pajamas.

[00:04:34] In spats.

[00:04:35] That jaunty green hat.

[00:04:38] Excuse me sir?

[00:04:39] No.

[00:04:40] This is the horror beneath us.

[00:04:47] Speak up!

[00:04:48] There's horrors beneath us?

[00:04:50] There's horrors beneath us.

[00:04:51] There you go.

[00:04:52] Arrrrgh!

[00:04:53] The Bavarians are always a bit strange lot.

[00:04:58] Soul don't have one.

[00:05:00] It's going to take your soul.

[00:05:01] It's going to kill him.

[00:05:02] It's going to kill us all.

[00:05:06] He's clearly insane.

[00:05:07] Clearly!

[00:05:08] Does he have anything good?

[00:05:10] Who would operate a brothel all the way out here from town?

[00:05:13] Some of what he even says isn't in a language you guys even understand.

[00:05:16] German.

[00:05:17] He's speaking, seemingly speaking in tongues.

[00:05:20] Yeah, the German tongue.

[00:05:22] No.

[00:05:23] German you might even recognize.

[00:05:25] It's nothing you recognize.

[00:05:26] Is he making that yodel sound from The Price is Right?

[00:05:30] Not quite.

[00:05:31] Sanskrit?

[00:05:33] Uh, what else is in the room?

[00:05:38] That's it.

[00:05:39] It's an open round room with a makeshift kitchen and a bed of leaves.

[00:05:43] Is there any food in the kitchen?

[00:05:47] Rotten.

[00:05:50] I don't think that deters me necessarily.

[00:05:53] Rotten fruits.

[00:05:55] You know, fruit flies everywhere.

[00:05:59] That is clearly not healthy to eat and raw.

[00:06:05] Just cook the maggots out.

[00:06:08] And a man who is clearly not sane.

[00:06:12] No paperwork, no ticket.

[00:06:19] What are these symbols that are in Scratch and Stone or whatever?

[00:06:26] Do they match his book?

[00:06:28] I forgot your character had a book.

[00:06:30] I got a book.

[00:06:31] He has an unknown language that may match these symbols.

[00:06:35] Yeah, they do.

[00:06:38] You still can't read it.

[00:06:39] You have me at the table.

[00:06:40] I remember all the details.

[00:06:42] We have a decipher.

[00:06:45] He has the Rosetta Stone of this room.

[00:06:48] They're carved into the walls and then into the door.

[00:06:50] Well, not the door.

[00:06:51] There's no door, but into the door frame over the arch.

[00:06:55] It's slightly arched.

[00:06:57] How many planets are in this solar system?

[00:07:01] Roll me a D10.

[00:07:02] You roll a D10.

[00:07:05] Three.

[00:07:06] Three.

[00:07:11] I think your solar system be a little in that.

[00:07:14] Well, no.

[00:07:15] What can you see?

[00:07:16] You can see Mercury.

[00:07:18] You can see Venus.

[00:07:19] You can see Mars.

[00:07:20] You can see the moon.

[00:07:22] I am pretty sure.

[00:07:24] And the sun.

[00:07:26] Even Jupiter and Saturn have been discovered at this point.

[00:07:29] I'm pretty sure probably all of them have been seen.

[00:07:31] Galileo was a long time ago.

[00:07:32] With the naked eye, no.

[00:07:34] But these things have been observed with telescopes.

[00:07:37] Galileo was a long time ago.

[00:07:39] Yeah.

[00:07:40] But still.

[00:07:41] We can see Jupiter on certain days.

[00:07:44] These are crude carvings of a strange solar system that doesn't look like anything

[00:07:50] you may or may not have seen in a book.

[00:07:53] Just because Galileo existed a century or two ago doesn't necessarily mean that your

[00:07:58] average individual understands that.

[00:08:01] Einstein.

[00:08:02] I am a learned captain.

[00:08:04] Einstein was 80 years from our present, but I don't think you could walk out on the street

[00:08:08] and get understanding of the general theory of relativity for most people.

[00:08:12] E equals energy squared.

[00:08:13] Which means what?

[00:08:14] Lawyered.

[00:08:15] E equals.

[00:08:16] Energy equals the mass times acceleration and the speed of light squared.

[00:08:19] You're welcome.

[00:08:20] Which means what?

[00:08:21] He's got it.

[00:08:22] What year was that?

[00:08:23] What?

[00:08:24] That was post-pirate.

[00:08:25] The general gist of relativity is that everything it changes, the closer you get to the

[00:08:29] speed of light except for light.

[00:08:31] Einstein was last century.

[00:08:33] I'm sharing with the listeners in case they don't know.

[00:08:36] Our listeners are way more intelligent than we are.

[00:08:39] Oh, 100%.

[00:08:40] That's not a high point.

[00:08:41] 105,000%.

[00:08:42] Have you ever heard about some of the shit that our listeners send us sometimes?

[00:08:46] I'm not even commenting on that.

[00:08:49] But the rule of the world is that not everybody can know everything.

[00:08:51] We also get emails asking us if we're a real brothel.

[00:08:54] So there's kind of a dip in the intelligence.

[00:08:58] But those people don't listen to us.

[00:08:59] Are we a real brothel?

[00:09:01] Depends on who you are.

[00:09:03] I need money.

[00:09:05] Moving right along.

[00:09:06] We should work at the treasure chests.

[00:09:10] These are symbols that you are recognizing maybe from your unintelligible tome, but

[00:09:19] you still can't read them.

[00:09:23] Grenade it.

[00:09:25] And these are carved into...

[00:09:32] It may appear as if it is a sentence or a paragraph or something, but it is still sort

[00:09:38] of arbitrary between walls.

[00:09:41] It's a circular room.

[00:09:42] I rub my hand over the carvings.

[00:09:44] Do they feel like new?

[00:09:46] Or do they feel more worn?

[00:09:50] That's an interesting question.

[00:09:54] They're worn, but they're not ancient.

[00:09:59] This is a gentleman who is bearded, grayed, emaciated, but also not dying.

[00:10:07] Clearly not sane.

[00:10:08] Spillow us.

[00:10:09] Spillow us.

[00:10:10] Leave him.

[00:10:11] He will kill us all.

[00:10:12] There's another door.

[00:10:13] Give him some chocolate.

[00:10:14] Put the old man out of his misery.

[00:10:15] Just wait until he awakes.

[00:10:16] Excuse me?

[00:10:17] Who's asleep?

[00:10:18] The gentleman kind of turns his head very creepily and looks right at you.

[00:10:27] The gentleman kind of turns his head very creepily and looks right at you.

[00:10:35] Did it turn the normal way that heads turn, or was this like an exorcist thing?

[00:10:39] Yes and no.

[00:10:40] He's facing his back to us.

[00:10:42] Give him the shot!

[00:10:43] Give him the shot, Captain!

[00:10:46] Pull!

[00:10:47] The ancient one lives.

[00:10:53] Cool bro.

[00:10:54] Haster.

[00:10:55] See you later.

[00:10:56] See ya.

[00:10:57] I'll see you two more times.

[00:10:58] I fucking dare ya.

[00:10:59] Haster.

[00:11:00] Beetlejuice.

[00:11:01] It's an odd two of 15%.

[00:11:07] Haster shows up and you die.

[00:11:13] As long as he pays me first.

[00:11:14] Is that 15%?

[00:11:15] Is that right?

[00:11:16] No.

[00:11:17] I don't think that's right at all.

[00:11:18] As long as the gold guy gives me money first.

[00:11:23] That's what the creepy gentleman tells you is the old one lives.

[00:11:31] The ancient one.

[00:11:33] It's impressive given our current financial climate out here that the old one lives.

[00:11:38] It's probably the clearest sentence he's said.

[00:11:43] I make a throat cutting motion to the captain and shrug.

[00:11:49] I wave you off.

[00:11:50] Like whatever, do whatever you want.

[00:11:52] Snap him with the cutlass.

[00:11:58] The man gargles and dies.

[00:12:02] So we had one more door we can check.

[00:12:04] I check his pockets.

[00:12:06] Nothing.

[00:12:07] His pockets are empty.

[00:12:11] Perhaps some crumbs.

[00:12:12] He got a gem when he checked.

[00:12:16] It's not fair.

[00:12:17] I did get a gem when I checked but you don't know that yet.

[00:12:21] Cody does and he's pissed!

[00:12:23] As he should be, but you also got that cool idol.

[00:12:27] That's probably cursed.

[00:12:30] Way more cursed than my gem.

[00:12:32] You said there was another door?

[00:12:34] Didn't draw it out of the map.

[00:12:35] There's a north door that is covered in rocks.

[00:12:37] That's the only other door?

[00:12:40] The eastern door that opened up to a wall.

[00:12:43] I thought we came into a room that had another...

[00:12:52] That was the one that had the trap room we came into.

[00:12:54] You came through a hallway with a trap, entered into a room with a northern door

[00:12:58] that is covered in rocks, a southern door and an eastern door.

[00:13:01] When you opened up and said eastern door, there was a wall.

[00:13:03] I understand.

[00:13:04] You went south and in this room there's only one door?

[00:13:09] Yes.

[00:13:10] I thought there was another hallway.

[00:13:12] The door with rocks, does it say don't dead open inside on it?

[00:13:18] No.

[00:13:19] Do you want to open?

[00:13:22] I would like to continue the scenario and it seems that you're going to make me

[00:13:24] uncover the door that someone clearly buried to not have opened.

[00:13:27] So yes.

[00:13:28] What's your all strengths?

[00:13:29] In.

[00:13:30] Zero.

[00:13:31] Zero.

[00:13:32] Fuck.

[00:13:34] Fuck.

[00:13:35] I had two, but you had me re-roll.

[00:13:38] Everybody rolled me a d20.

[00:13:40] I had really good stats until you re-rolled.

[00:13:45] Nat 20!

[00:13:47] Nat 20.

[00:13:48] One solid hit, you burst open the wall.

[00:13:54] That's why he's lazy.

[00:13:55] He's saving his strength.

[00:13:56] I'm not trying to burst open the wall, I'm trying to remove rocks.

[00:14:00] You're going to the eastern side, right?

[00:14:01] No.

[00:14:02] You went north.

[00:14:03] You said we're moving rocks.

[00:14:05] Sorry, northeast, tell me.

[00:14:08] What?

[00:14:09] You said we're moving the rocks for...

[00:14:11] Do we want to go to the eastern north?

[00:14:13] Then you move the rocks in like 30 minutes or less.

[00:14:16] Although now I'm intrigued about this eastern, busting through the wall.

[00:14:19] Bust through that wall.

[00:14:20] I'm curious now.

[00:14:21] You have a grenade.

[00:14:23] In the north you fly a door.

[00:14:26] You can easily with a Nat 20 remove the rocks and push open inside the door.

[00:14:31] Okay.

[00:14:32] What do we find inside?

[00:14:34] A room that has a cyan glow, crumbling masonry and rock and tree roots.

[00:14:44] And you hear a...

[00:14:45] Roll initiative.

[00:14:48] We found a troll.

[00:14:54] I don't want to.

[00:14:57] What did you say this room was?

[00:14:59] There are doors in this room?

[00:15:02] We just entered the room.

[00:15:03] The room you just went into?

[00:15:04] Yeah, with the snoring troll.

[00:15:06] There's a door to the west.

[00:15:08] And that's it.

[00:15:14] D6 tells me you guys get to go first in initiative.

[00:15:18] Roll initiative.

[00:15:19] I don't know how to do that.

[00:15:22] Which die.

[00:15:23] I'm trying to find it, sorry.

[00:15:27] I think it's like D20 plus agility probably.

[00:15:30] I don't want to have to reroll if I can avoid it.

[00:15:35] Doh, doh, doh, doh, doh, doh, doh, doh, doh.

[00:15:39] There's a combat page here.

[00:15:40] It is violence.

[00:15:41] Initial initiative.

[00:15:42] If...

[00:15:43] Individual initiative.

[00:15:44] We go first.

[00:15:45] Page one.

[00:15:46] Do you want individual initiative?

[00:15:48] It's on page 30.

[00:15:50] Agility plus D6.

[00:15:52] D6, please.

[00:15:53] Got it.

[00:15:54] Oh, that's a solid one right there.

[00:16:00] Seven.

[00:16:01] Six.

[00:16:04] Last.

[00:16:07] Cody, you may go first.

[00:16:09] But what am I doing?

[00:16:10] What you see...

[00:16:12] You see a pig-like thing that has smoke rolling from both of its nose and its eye

[00:16:21] sockets in a sort of neon blueish or cyan, if you will, color.

[00:16:32] And it lights up the room.

[00:16:35] It's called a necroswine.

[00:16:37] It's a glowing pig?

[00:16:40] Hmm, sure is.

[00:16:42] Huh.

[00:16:43] Necroswine.

[00:16:48] You may go first.

[00:16:50] Sure, sure, sure, sure.

[00:16:55] There were pigs once.

[00:16:57] Now foul, cyan steam wafts from their mouths and eyes.

[00:17:01] It slowly fills the air where they graze.

[00:17:05] If you see the glow, it's already too late.

[00:17:09] I see your candle.

[00:17:11] Candle.

[00:17:13] Have a candle.

[00:17:14] I light a grenade.

[00:17:17] Okay.

[00:17:18] I test agility.

[00:17:20] Okay.

[00:17:21] DR12.

[00:17:24] I roll a 19 plus 1 is 20.

[00:17:27] Seems like it's a pretty fucking accurate throw.

[00:17:31] How much damage does said grenade do?

[00:17:34] 3D6.

[00:17:35] That's a lot.

[00:17:36] It is a lot.

[00:17:37] That is 8 damage.

[00:17:44] Necropig explodes.

[00:17:47] Pigs back on the menu, boys!

[00:17:52] Slight steam of bluish tinted smoke whirls and dissipates,

[00:18:02] and the room goes dim, aside from whatever torches or whatever you have.

[00:18:10] Would it really go dim though if it has bioluminescence?

[00:18:14] Yes.

[00:18:15] It is dead.

[00:18:17] In Lucas's world, bioluminescence doesn't work.

[00:18:19] If you're not alive, it's fine.

[00:18:20] It's like video game logic.

[00:18:22] I don't like it.

[00:18:23] If it's not alive, the glow was dimmed to nothing.

[00:18:30] Could have tried that too, but that's okay.

[00:18:32] Got it.

[00:18:34] Can I harvest some flesh to eat?

[00:18:37] I would hope so.

[00:18:38] It's crispy.

[00:18:40] You may want to cook it first, but you can...

[00:18:43] I'm in the process already, Lucas!

[00:18:45] You can cut some flesh if you wish.

[00:18:47] It was quite cooked.

[00:18:48] Tell you you can't.

[00:18:50] Do we see anything else in the room worth looting?

[00:18:53] I have some necropork chops.

[00:18:59] You see that the west wall has collapsed.

[00:19:05] You told me there's a door there.

[00:19:08] That is where the door is.

[00:19:09] My apologies.

[00:19:10] Good lord, why do they keep blocking everything?

[00:19:14] Right above you, you do notice some moonlight.

[00:19:21] Like from a well?

[00:19:22] From what under looks like gnarled roots.

[00:19:28] Fake tree.

[00:19:29] Yep.

[00:19:34] So west wall was blocked by rock slide.

[00:19:39] Should we try to see if we can knock down that wall that you almost knocked down?

[00:19:45] Captain?

[00:19:46] I mean, I wouldn't think to knock down the wall.

[00:19:48] It sounded like it was just a wall.

[00:19:50] But apparently you knock it down if you hit it hard enough.

[00:19:54] DM slipped.

[00:19:56] Use it.

[00:19:58] It would take about an hour to clear it.

[00:20:00] I think we gotta keep going the way we're going.

[00:20:03] Well, it's not like we have anywhere else to go.

[00:20:06] Since that door is a wall, uh...

[00:20:11] Clear the rock.

[00:20:12] Cool.

[00:20:13] Takes about an hour to clear it.

[00:20:14] You enter into another room that is somewhat rounded, but less of a perfect circle.

[00:20:21] You do see another skylight coming down.

[00:20:25] An old bucket laying on the ground.

[00:20:27] There's the well.

[00:20:28] Small shaft that leads upward.

[00:20:32] The problem with that is then the well, the tree should have been like right next to each other.

[00:20:38] Yeah.

[00:20:39] But that's fine.

[00:20:40] Uh... okay.

[00:20:42] Is there anywhere else out of this hole in the well?

[00:20:45] In the bucket?

[00:20:46] Sorry.

[00:20:47] Tucked in the corner is a small crate.

[00:20:49] Somebody else's turn.

[00:20:50] I only got one hit point.

[00:20:52] I'll check the crate.

[00:20:53] Roomie a D6.

[00:20:57] Maybe that was good.

[00:21:03] Was that a 1?

[00:21:05] It was originally.

[00:21:07] Cool.

[00:21:08] You find one very fine rum.

[00:21:12] Hihar!

[00:21:13] And an obsidian dagger that deals plus 1 damage.

[00:21:19] Ooooo.

[00:21:21] And...

[00:21:22] That feels important.

[00:21:23] And a small glass vial filled with a glowing purple liquid.

[00:21:30] Drink it.

[00:21:31] Drink it.

[00:21:32] Glowing purple liquid.

[00:21:34] Yep.

[00:21:37] I cast identify.

[00:21:38] I wish that was a spell in this game.

[00:21:40] Brightly glowing?

[00:21:42] No.

[00:21:43] Just glowing with a purple liquid.

[00:21:45] It's gotta be the best rum ever.

[00:21:48] Well I have very fine rum.

[00:21:52] I know an obsidian dagger which does plus 1 damage.

[00:21:55] Which I guess is plus 1 on top of a D4?

[00:21:59] I don't know.

[00:22:00] Yeah whatever your damage is you add plus 1 to it.

[00:22:03] Yeah I think a dagger's D4 I can look.

[00:22:05] It's a better dagger than what you started with.

[00:22:07] Well my original knife was a D4 so I'm gonna guess it's the same damage type.

[00:22:11] It's a D4 plus 1 damage, yeah.

[00:22:13] And then glowing purple liquid inside of the vial.

[00:22:16] So...

[00:22:18] What do you do with said liquid?

[00:22:20] Hmm.

[00:22:21] I mean literally anyone.

[00:22:24] Well...

[00:22:26] I can try casting presence, see if I recognize it.

[00:22:31] Sure.

[00:22:32] Daggers not a weapon but I'm gonna guess it's a D4.

[00:22:35] It's not listed in the melee weapons.

[00:22:42] 15?

[00:22:43] It's magical.

[00:22:48] I drink it.

[00:22:50] Here, this is what it tastes like.

[00:22:54] No no I'll stick with the good though.

[00:22:56] You're sitting at this table, drink that shit.

[00:22:58] No.

[00:22:59] Drink this awful stuff.

[00:23:01] No.

[00:23:02] The rest of us did, god damn.

[00:23:03] I know what paint thinner tastes like dammit.

[00:23:05] It's not paint thinner, it's...

[00:23:07] Paint thinner's better.

[00:23:08] It is.

[00:23:10] Which is paint thinner.

[00:23:11] It probably is better.

[00:23:12] What room are you in? Oh sorry.

[00:23:16] The last one.

[00:23:18] This is a bit of a back and forth.

[00:23:20] Uh, roll me...

[00:23:23] Oh god.

[00:23:25] I suddenly have clairvoyance.

[00:23:30] Don't forget about your mummified monkey head either.

[00:23:33] That's no bey word.

[00:23:35] Somebody has to obey what I say.

[00:23:37] It doesn't work on a liquid.

[00:23:39] Roll me a D20.

[00:23:40] Could've used it on the guy I killed.

[00:23:42] Yeah...

[00:23:44] Yeah maybe it'll be useful later.

[00:23:46] D20.

[00:23:49] That looks like a small number.

[00:23:50] It is a three.

[00:23:52] I hope it's bad and I want to see what happens.

[00:23:56] You sir...

[00:23:59] Gain immortality.

[00:24:01] Yep.

[00:24:04] You sir have learned a random ritual.

[00:24:07] Okay.

[00:24:09] Based on the arcane rituals.

[00:24:12] You said a three?

[00:24:13] I did.

[00:24:14] Dark delusions.

[00:24:16] An illusion or vision of your design appears in the mind of any creature you see for D4 plus spirit minutes.

[00:24:26] Neat.

[00:24:27] Dark delusion, D4 plus minutes.

[00:24:30] D4 plus minutes.

[00:24:34] Any creature.

[00:24:35] These are apparently not in any kind of order.

[00:24:40] I can look through that if you want.

[00:24:42] He doesn't.

[00:24:43] Okay.

[00:24:44] That's fine.

[00:24:45] Those are his delusions.

[00:24:46] They're those his spooky cards.

[00:24:49] They didn't print them in correct order.

[00:24:52] There it is.

[00:24:53] Dark delusions.

[00:24:54] Very fucked up.

[00:24:57] I now have a spell and a ritual.

[00:24:59] It's a ritual?

[00:25:01] You also...

[00:25:02] You don't have a...

[00:25:03] What's a spell?

[00:25:04] Oh you have a ritual.

[00:25:05] That's right.

[00:25:06] You have a spell, a ritual, and an arcane...

[00:25:08] And a relic.

[00:25:09] A relic.

[00:25:10] I'm getting loaded up here.

[00:25:12] Well you are a sorcerer so it kind of makes sense.

[00:25:14] I like it.

[00:25:16] So you guys kind of see...

[00:25:21] Flanagan.

[00:25:25] Sorry.

[00:25:29] Shake a little bit.

[00:25:32] And then kind of come to...

[00:25:33] A mild seizure.

[00:25:34] As if he had a very...

[00:25:35] Yeah, almost like a quick seizure and then he's like,

[00:25:37] Oh I'm good.

[00:25:40] You got the shakes?

[00:25:41] I'm good.

[00:25:42] You can have some mighty fine rum.

[00:25:43] I've got that too.

[00:25:46] This is the only room in here.

[00:25:49] And right above you, you can tell this is definitely

[00:25:52] the drop from the well.

[00:25:54] That you had seen before.

[00:25:56] I'm going to go back to the original room

[00:25:58] with the crazy guy.

[00:26:00] Uh, room 6?

[00:26:01] Sure.

[00:26:02] Yeah.

[00:26:03] 7. You told us it was 7 specifically.

[00:26:04] Oh sorry, he is in 7.

[00:26:05] I apologize.

[00:26:06] It's the only room I know that's numbered.

[00:26:07] It's that one, 7.

[00:26:08] Yep.

[00:26:09] I make a thrall.

[00:26:11] Now we have an extra guy in our team.

[00:26:15] Yeah.

[00:26:16] He is dead.

[00:26:17] You will spend your...

[00:26:20] I'll spend one of my spells.

[00:26:22] Yep, that's your spell and you can't use it again until the next dawn.

[00:26:25] I can live with that.

[00:26:27] You have a dead guy who has a specific hit points

[00:26:31] and whatever else he can do.

[00:26:32] 4 HP and he can do D4 damage.

[00:26:34] What do you name him?

[00:26:38] I opened it up to discussion what if we name him?

[00:26:41] Pete.

[00:26:42] Pete?

[00:26:43] Pete of the Iz.

[00:26:44] I was either going to call him that or Gilligan.

[00:26:46] Pete of the Iz.

[00:26:47] Actually, it should be repeat.

[00:26:52] Sure.

[00:26:53] The only other thing you see in what we'll call the main chamber

[00:26:58] is that eastern door frame that opened up to a wall.

[00:27:04] It's nothing but a wall guys.

[00:27:08] Time to go home.

[00:27:09] Roll me strength.

[00:27:10] I don't want to.

[00:27:15] Hit it.

[00:27:16] You can all roll it.

[00:27:17] I don't care.

[00:27:20] There was nothing to make me believe that there's anything beyond this wall.

[00:27:23] It's just a weird door.

[00:27:24] 17.

[00:27:25] 16.

[00:27:28] 16 and 17 go, this is fucking weird.

[00:27:37] And you kind of hit, kick, punch, hit with your weapons.

[00:27:42] You break down said wall into a chamber.

[00:27:45] And in the chamber you see another north and another south door.

[00:27:54] Two more options.

[00:27:57] Yay.

[00:28:01] Hang on a second.

[00:28:04] This is number one.

[00:28:06] You see stone columns.

[00:28:08] 10.

[00:28:10] Two ruined in a rubble.

[00:28:12] You see tree trunks.

[00:28:14] Four gnarled twisting roots protruding from the ceiling.

[00:28:20] There's a decorative floor carved from rock tiles with intricate geometry.

[00:28:27] A 15 foot skull in the center on the floor.

[00:28:33] There are stone doors north and south decorated with glyphs.

[00:28:39] It's also a skylight about 50 feet above you.

[00:28:43] You can see the dust kind of flowing in the light.

[00:28:48] This is like an allosaurus skull or like a...

[00:28:55] It's carved.

[00:28:56] It is a human skull carved.

[00:28:58] In the corners are several pink and turquoise tropical flowers.

[00:29:04] The flowers, the doors.

[00:29:13] The roots don't necessarily seem interactive.

[00:29:17] And there's the skull.

[00:29:19] And apparently 10 pillars.

[00:29:21] Yeah.

[00:29:22] That seems like an oddly specific number.

[00:29:26] And he said the skull relief is in the floor or is it in front of us?

[00:29:35] I would start with the skull relief if I have a vote.

[00:29:39] Let's look at that a little bit more closely.

[00:29:42] It is right here after all.

[00:29:44] The skull is...

[00:29:47] Full of gems?

[00:29:54] No.

[00:29:57] The skull is what it is.

[00:29:59] It's a 15 foot skull that is clearly hand carved into the floor.

[00:30:08] There are no gems.

[00:30:09] There are no treasures embedded into it.

[00:30:15] It seems to be a mosaic.

[00:30:19] Not a mosaic because that would ideally be like, you know, specifically laid tiles.

[00:30:24] But it's a carved piece into the floor.

[00:30:27] Does it look like this skull?

[00:30:29] No.

[00:30:30] Kind of.

[00:30:32] In terms of what skulls look like in this game, yes, sure.

[00:30:37] Alex showed me a card that has a skull on it.

[00:30:41] This skull also has tentacles coming out of it.

[00:30:45] No, there are no tentacles. Just a skull.

[00:30:47] This one looks like the skull of Cthulhu if you actually look at it.

[00:30:51] No. Not a skull of Cthulhu. Just skulls. Just a skull.

[00:30:55] I was making sure.

[00:30:58] Anything fancy about the skull?

[00:31:00] No.

[00:31:01] It is a hand carved skull.

[00:31:05] Decorative only.

[00:31:06] It's a picture.

[00:31:08] It doesn't have any like gem shaped eyes or anything.

[00:31:10] We checked.

[00:31:11] Alright, fair enough. You guys did the dirty work.

[00:31:13] You do see stone doors.

[00:31:15] No, I want to look at the flowers.

[00:31:17] North, south and west.

[00:31:19] Slimy says flowers first.

[00:31:21] Decorated with glyphs.

[00:31:25] The flowers?

[00:31:27] No, the doors.

[00:31:29] The flowers are all in the corners.

[00:31:35] They are pink and turquoise and tropical.

[00:31:39] Flowers don't usually grow underground.

[00:31:42] Truth.

[00:31:43] So do we know anything about these flowers?

[00:31:47] Roll me presents.

[00:31:49] For fuck's sake.

[00:31:54] Eleven.

[00:31:56] Fourteen.

[00:31:58] Seventeen.

[00:32:00] Fourteen to seventeen.

[00:32:02] You can tell that these are kind of rare flowers that could be used for alchemy.

[00:32:10] To make potions or poisons or what have you.

[00:32:14] I think we should take some flowers.

[00:32:16] Collect some flowers.

[00:32:17] Sure.

[00:32:18] You can collect said flowers.

[00:32:20] North or south?

[00:32:22] Yeah, because east is where you came from.

[00:32:24] Sorry, west is where you came from.

[00:32:26] That's why I'm drawing the map now.

[00:32:28] Hmm.

[00:32:30] North.

[00:32:32] Cool.

[00:32:34] North says the captain.

[00:32:38] You open the door, you see crates.

[00:32:40] Newer.

[00:32:42] Filled with expedition supplies, medical kits, a lantern, spoiled rations and 1d4 torches.

[00:32:51] Four.

[00:32:55] Cool.

[00:32:56] You have four torches laying there.

[00:32:58] There are also vines.

[00:33:00] Hundreds hanging from the ceiling, green and brown.

[00:33:04] Tree trunks.

[00:33:06] I'm going to take the lantern.

[00:33:08] I'm the only one who doesn't have a light source.

[00:33:11] Snake skins that are about three feet long.

[00:33:15] And 1d12 egg shells.

[00:33:18] Nine of them.

[00:33:20] Snakes out of eggs usually is a bad thing normally.

[00:33:23] And you hear a...

[00:33:25] Hisssssssssssssssss.

[00:33:28] Throw a grenade.

[00:33:29] Roll initiative.

[00:33:31] You have to roll initiative.

[00:33:33] Oh, I gotta tell you who goes first.

[00:33:36] We do.

[00:33:38] That's one two three four five six, isn't it?

[00:33:40] No.

[00:33:42] The combat, I roll a five.

[00:33:44] It tells me who goes first.

[00:33:47] One through three enemies go first.

[00:33:49] You roll a five.

[00:33:51] I roll a five, thank you.

[00:33:53] What did you do?

[00:33:55] My agility is a three.

[00:33:57] Two plus one for my agility.

[00:34:01] Three.

[00:34:03] Six.

[00:34:05] Nice.

[00:34:07] Also a six.

[00:34:09] Nice.

[00:34:13] What does it say?

[00:34:16] Alex, Troy, Cody.

[00:34:18] Slimy Bill.

[00:34:20] Be my name.

[00:34:22] He doesn't like the other names.

[00:34:24] Alex, you may go first what you see.

[00:34:26] They're a lot harder to remember.

[00:34:28] Flanagan.

[00:34:30] Oh, flannel himself.

[00:34:32] Such a wet blanket.

[00:34:34] Sorcerer Flanagan.

[00:34:36] What you see...

[00:34:38] ...is what's called a palm viper.

[00:34:40] It hisses.

[00:34:42] Is that it?

[00:34:44] Palm viper sounds like a dirty name for your wang.

[00:34:48] You may act first, sir.

[00:34:50] Just gonna throw it out there.

[00:34:52] Another innuendo.

[00:34:54] Well, but like, you know...

[00:34:56] A dark green and brown serpent.

[00:34:58] Spent too much time at the treasure chest.

[00:35:00] It's typically a sand snake.

[00:35:02] But hangs out also in dark and dank areas.

[00:35:06] Appropriate.

[00:35:08] Coconuts and also in banana trees.

[00:35:12] So what's its name?

[00:35:14] It's in the S shape about to attack you.

[00:35:16] Go.

[00:35:18] I send...

[00:35:20] What was his name again?

[00:35:22] Pete.

[00:35:24] I send out Pete first.

[00:35:26] He's a meat shield.

[00:35:28] Well, he's not.

[00:35:30] What does Pete do?

[00:35:32] He attacks.

[00:35:34] He attacks.

[00:35:36] Cody can run this.

[00:35:38] What's he attacking with?

[00:35:40] He has no weapons.

[00:35:42] He has claws or teeth.

[00:35:44] Okay, well roll a d20 to a hit.

[00:35:46] It's a dr12.

[00:35:48] I like how you're getting mad about what the rolls are

[00:35:50] and you don't even have to make any of them.

[00:35:54] It's a 2.

[00:35:56] He misses.

[00:35:58] Bummer.

[00:36:00] Well that's okay. I can do a thing now.

[00:36:02] Who is next?

[00:36:04] It's still his turn, isn't it?

[00:36:06] It should be.

[00:36:08] Yeah, that was my thrall.

[00:36:10] It does its own thing.

[00:36:12] I use my boarding axe.

[00:36:17] See if I can cut this thing up.

[00:36:19] Roll to attack.

[00:36:21] Get it.

[00:36:23] You want a 12 or higher?

[00:36:29] No, got a 9.

[00:36:31] You missed.

[00:36:33] I'm okay with that.

[00:36:42] Troy, attack it.

[00:36:44] You got the shooter.

[00:36:46] Kind of wanted to do something more in character.

[00:36:48] Go to sleep.

[00:36:50] Leave the room.

[00:36:52] I will take aim with my phone.

[00:36:54] Always a plan.

[00:36:56] You add presence to the...

[00:36:58] Right?

[00:37:00] For range is presence, yes.

[00:37:02] 3.

[00:37:04] Miss.

[00:37:06] You...

[00:37:08] Off the stone floor.

[00:37:10] Cody.

[00:37:13] How does that ability work?

[00:37:15] Probably not going to give it to me, but I'll try.

[00:37:17] What's the ability?

[00:37:19] Tell me what you're doing.

[00:37:21] Is the enemy distracted?

[00:37:23] Not really.

[00:37:25] I will...

[00:37:29] I will...

[00:37:31] Do we see just one enemy?

[00:37:36] Yes.

[00:37:38] Okay.

[00:37:40] Because I have a backstabbing ability.

[00:37:44] I'm sure you do.

[00:37:46] I will...

[00:37:48] I'll swing at it with me cutlass.

[00:37:50] DR12.

[00:37:52] 40%.

[00:37:54] I'll swing at it with me cutlass.

[00:37:58] DR12.

[00:38:00] 40%.

[00:38:04] I roll a 17.

[00:38:06] Yo ho!

[00:38:08] Roll damage.

[00:38:12] One point of damage.

[00:38:14] One point of damage.

[00:38:16] You nick its nose.

[00:38:18] Because I don't think I add anything, do I?

[00:38:20] It's just a straight die roll.

[00:38:22] Yeah.

[00:38:24] Unless anything else specifies that you have a plus to damage, no.

[00:38:26] Got it.

[00:38:28] This is...

[00:38:30] Oh, what was that page?

[00:38:32] Palm viper.

[00:38:34] Snakes don't have noses, by the way.

[00:38:36] Snakes don't have noses, by the way.

[00:38:38] It's kind of like...

[00:38:40] It's squinted.

[00:38:42] Also this must be one powerful snake.

[00:38:44] Also this must be one powerful snake.

[00:38:49] Roll defense.

[00:38:51] One damage is...

[00:38:53] Three.

[00:38:59] You get bit.

[00:39:01] Alright.

[00:39:05] Alright.

[00:39:07] Roll...

[00:39:09] 2d2 plus venom.

[00:39:11] Sorry, 1d2 plus venom.

[00:39:13] Sorry, 1d2 plus venom.

[00:39:15] Plus venom?

[00:39:17] I don't have any venom.

[00:39:19] It doesn't matter because either way...

[00:39:21] I roll two.

[00:39:25] I assume it has a venom score.

[00:39:28] I assume it has a venom score.

[00:39:30] It does.

[00:39:32] 1d10 rounds after being bitten,

[00:39:34] the target is completely paralyzed

[00:39:36] by d6 plus 10 minutes.

[00:39:38] That's exciting.

[00:39:40] Does it deal any damage?

[00:39:42] I assume it deals 2 damage plus venom.

[00:39:44] It's d2 plus venom.

[00:39:46] Right, so it dealt me 2 damage.

[00:39:48] Plus I'm paralyzed.

[00:39:50] You can't paralyze a corpse because Slimey Bill is now dead.

[00:39:52] He had one hit point.

[00:39:54] No, wait.

[00:39:56] I do have armor.

[00:39:58] You've got armor.

[00:40:00] What's your armor rating?

[00:40:02] Minus d2.

[00:40:04] You could negate all of it.

[00:40:06] Probably not.

[00:40:08] I negate 1.

[00:40:10] I am now at 0 and paralyzed.

[00:40:12] Okay.

[00:40:14] You are at 0, which means you are broken.

[00:40:16] But again,

[00:40:18] just going negative does not make you automatically dead.

[00:40:20] It does.

[00:40:22] No. It says if you hit 0 or lower,

[00:40:24] you become broken.

[00:40:26] It's if you take further damage...

[00:40:28] That's how it is.

[00:40:30] 0 is broken.

[00:40:32] If you reduce to less than 0 HP, you are dead.

[00:40:34] Skip being broken.

[00:40:36] You're not less than 0 though.

[00:40:38] On my broken, I rolled a 4,

[00:40:40] which means I need to roll another d6.

[00:40:44] I rolled another 4.

[00:40:46] I have a broken or severed limb somehow.

[00:40:48] How did the snake that bit my armor

[00:40:50] give me a broken or severed limb?

[00:40:52] He bit your arm.

[00:40:54] Are you left handed?

[00:40:56] It doesn't really matter at this point.

[00:40:58] I'm a left handed.

[00:41:00] It doesn't really matter at this point, I don't think.

[00:41:02] He bit your arm.

[00:41:04] It is now useless.

[00:41:06] Sweet.

[00:41:08] Completely numb. You can't move it.

[00:41:10] And I'm unconscious.

[00:41:12] But not dead.

[00:41:14] Not yet.

[00:41:16] Anyone can roll medicine or

[00:41:18] do what they can to get you back up.

[00:41:20] I do have a medical kit,

[00:41:24] but it will acquire one of you to apparently

[00:41:26] defeat this at least 2 hit point snake.

[00:41:28] The magic snake.

[00:41:34] The rosy palm viper.

[00:41:36] You don't roll initiative each time.

[00:41:38] Just for ships.

[00:41:40] I would presume.

[00:41:42] Do you roll initiative each time?

[00:41:44] I think so.

[00:41:46] You do.

[00:41:48] You guys are in combat.

[00:41:50] My arm is numb,

[00:41:52] I'm unconscious for a time,

[00:41:54] and I'm paralyzed for 60 minutes.

[00:41:58] Powerful snake.

[00:42:00] I guess so.

[00:42:02] And there's 9 of these things?

[00:42:04] The shit belongs in like the

[00:42:06] god damn chamber of secrets or some stuff.

[00:42:10] He's not wrong.

[00:42:16] That's just me dead arm.

[00:42:20] We'll get you a hook.

[00:42:22] No, you're right.

[00:42:24] So top of the order, which was...

[00:42:26] Yup.

[00:42:28] Yennings.

[00:42:30] Send

[00:42:34] Give me after him again.

[00:42:36] Repeat, it's the pun.

[00:42:38] I'm fine with that.

[00:42:40] Give me a good dice.

[00:42:54] Nope.

[00:42:58] I don't know many people that have worse

[00:43:00] dice luck than me, Alex, but I think I

[00:43:02] finally found someone and it's you.

[00:43:04] You got me.

[00:43:06] Pete missed.

[00:43:08] I'll go.

[00:43:10] You're great in starfinder.

[00:43:12] You also missed.

[00:43:14] Did you crit fail?

[00:43:16] No, I had a 3. I did not crit fail.

[00:43:18] I did not hit 1.

[00:43:20] You can go screw yourself.

[00:43:26] Cody!

[00:43:28] I'm broken and I'm conscious.

[00:43:30] Thus far I'm the only one who's dealt

[00:43:32] damage to anything. I've killed everything

[00:43:34] we've come across.

[00:43:36] He's a stick.

[00:43:38] Thank god we didn't fight the pig monster.

[00:43:40] I'm about ready to just use

[00:43:42] this mummified monkey head and just

[00:43:44] tell it to die.

[00:43:46] Alex, roll defense.

[00:43:50] Don't roll a 1, dude.

[00:43:54] 3. Still 3.

[00:43:56] It's still not good.

[00:43:58] No, it's not. Moving on.

[00:44:00] Nice.

[00:44:02] Just drop my book.

[00:44:04] I need more rum

[00:44:06] if I'm gonna deal with this bullshit.

[00:44:10] I think that's pretty much the most pirate

[00:44:12] thing you can say.

[00:44:14] I hope the micro picked that up.

[00:44:16] Jesus.

[00:44:18] D2.

[00:44:20] D2 of damage.

[00:44:22] You gotta roll, yeah, roll D2 of damage.

[00:44:24] Roll a D2 of damage.

[00:44:26] You take 2 damage. And now you're poisoned.

[00:44:28] Plus venom.

[00:44:30] So lose 2 HP.

[00:44:32] I'm doing

[00:44:34] that. I'm working on it.

[00:44:36] Roll a D10. How much, how much, you could use

[00:44:38] devil's luck too. Oh wait.

[00:44:40] Yeah you can do devil's luck.

[00:44:42] Wait, wait, wait.

[00:44:44] I also had a high armor.

[00:44:46] I do. So what do I have to do

[00:44:48] for that? What's your high armor?

[00:44:50] You're gonna take the venom either way

[00:44:52] which is going to suck ass.

[00:44:54] So roll

[00:44:56] a D6 high low.

[00:44:58] Yeah. You just

[00:45:00] roll another D2.

[00:45:02] So you negate all the damage.

[00:45:04] Cool. Then you do not

[00:45:06] get poisoned.

[00:45:08] If you negate the

[00:45:10] damage you get. Apparently you bought the better

[00:45:12] high armor.

[00:45:14] I just bought a high tunic.

[00:45:16] It's all the magic from that

[00:45:18] glowing

[00:45:20] purple whatever I drink. Well glowing magic

[00:45:22] kill its ass already. I'm working

[00:45:24] on it.

[00:45:26] It's on Cody which is, he was dying

[00:45:28] so. All the magic in the world

[00:45:30] means nothing if I can't hit it.

[00:45:32] Good.

[00:45:34] He's went.

[00:45:36] No he got attacked by Snake.

[00:45:38] He attacked me. It's my turn now.

[00:45:40] Oh sorry. Yes.

[00:45:42] Skipping me again.

[00:45:46] Damn it Pete.

[00:45:50] Oh hey!

[00:45:52] Finally rolled something.

[00:45:54] Roll some damage.

[00:45:56] I swear to God I just

[00:45:58] probably got like one hit point.

[00:46:00] It's like two.

[00:46:02] We're about to find out.

[00:46:04] Hit it for one hit point.

[00:46:06] Die.

[00:46:08] Just die.

[00:46:10] Well the previous one was just a nick on its nose.

[00:46:12] It's still alive.

[00:46:14] You cut off

[00:46:16] three inches of its tail.

[00:46:18] As long as it doesn't grow

[00:46:20] back because that would be obnoxious.

[00:46:24] Ah!

[00:46:26] That's an 18.

[00:46:28] Hit it. Roll some damage.

[00:46:30] Roll at

[00:46:32] least three hit points. Three hit points.

[00:46:34] It's dead.

[00:46:36] Oh thank God. Where are the other eight?

[00:46:38] You've got a companion who is now dying.